can you keep a secret?

Have you ever had a secret you couldn't tell anyone? Either something someone told you and made you promise not to tell anyone else or something that you and only you know about? How does it make you feel to keep this secret from everyone around you. Being around a lot of people while keeping a secret puts me under pressure to want to tell someone-at least one person-what that secret is.

For me, the two worst things about keeping a secret is being around the person or people the secret may be about, and keeping the secret away from my family. There are also times that I want to tell a secret I have to my family(particularly my mom) but I worry about what they might feel or think about it and ask why I didn't tell them sooner. Most of these secrets are not about good or pleasant things.

I once had to keep a secret from my parents for another family member. I wanted to tell my mom so badly, but I promised my other family member that I wouldn't, and that they be the one to tell that secret to my parents. This secret had much to do with my parents and I'm around my parents all the time. It made me feel uncomfortable around them because I knew something that they didn't. My family member kept putting off the time to tell my parents about this secret and it made me more and more anxious.

I kept asking and asking when the secret would be revealed to my parents and I was always told, "soon." I kept feeling more and more uncomfortable around my parents and I needed to let it out. But I made a promise not to say anything, so I didn't.

Finally, this secret was revealed to my parents (it made them furious) and I felt so much better that I didn't know something they didn't know about anymore. I felt that I needed to tell my parents that I had known about this secret the whole time they didn't because I still felt so guilty for keeping it from them in the first place. So when I told my parents not the be angry with me or my other family member for keeping the secret for such a long time, I had to apologize and say that I wish I could have told them myself, but it wasn't my responsibility. It was my other family member's.

I cannot say what this secret was because it was a personal family matter, but it made me feel just the same as I would If it had been any other secret, but just more serious. I really do NOT like keeping secrets. Especially from my family. Do you?

if i could met a famous celebrity...........

If I could meet a famous celebrity it would be Kristen Stewart. This is not just because she is the main character in 2 of my favorite movies, but because she has done a lot of other work that I had not known about until I found out more about her career after she started playing the role of Bella Swan in the films, Twilight and New Moon, based on the stories of my favorite book series, “The Twilight Saga” by: Stephanie Meyer.

If I were to meet with Kristen Stewart we would go to Hollywood and I would take a walk with her on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and head towards a Starbucks. I would ask her questions like how it she felt the first time she started acting, about the previous work she has done and I would ask her how it feels to be famous with fans and cameras following her around everywhere she goes.

The first question I would ask her is how she knew she wanted to be an actor when she was younger. Then I would ask her about her feelings while being on the set for the first time; if she was nervous, scared, excited, or all three.

Next I would ask her about each of the famous motion pictures she’s already starred in before Twilight and New Moon. One of her movies in particular that I would ask about would be the movie, Speak. I watched the movie and found it quite good. It is not the type of movie I usually like to watch, but I found it interesting because it is different from most of the movies I like.

I wonder if she ever just wants to be away from the crowd and be alone with her family which I’m guessing she does. Does she ever get overwhelmed by all the things she has to do before, after, and while filming a movie?

But……the most important thing I would ask about is what it’s like being the star character of two of my favorite movies, Twilight and New Moon, and why she decided she wanted to play the role of Bella Swan in these movies. (And how it feels like to kiss Robert Pattinson! =)

The last thing I would ask her is if she has ever thought that she had taken the wrong path in her career. I wonder if she has ever thought of changing her mind about wanting to be an actor. If she says yes I would say, “That would have been a tragedy because Twilight and New Moon wouldn’t be the same without you on the screen!”

my favorite holiday......

My favorite holiday is Thanks Giving. Probably most people would say their favorite holiday is Christmas because of presents. I love Christmas too but Thanks Giving is my favorite holiday because my family gets together every year to have a nice turkey dinner and be thankful for the wonderful thinks we have in our lives-especially each other. I love getting together with my family. We get together at my house and talk, tell stories, laugh, and have a lot of fun.

The best part about Thanks Giving, besides being with my family, is having my mom’s homemade pecan pie. All year I wait for Thanks Giving to come so I can eat pecan pie. I’ve had pecan pie at many different places made by many different people, but nothing ever beats or has ever beaten the great sweet delicious taste of my mom’s pecan pie. I always look forward to having desert while we are eating turkey and mashed potatoes. Sometimes I can’t wait long enough so I have steal a piece before we start dinner.

After the fun dinner, we start talking and laughing again until we get sleepy and the rest of the family go back to their houses. But, since we get together at my and my parents’ house, we have to clean up all the mess. But that part is still fun because we get to talk about the stories we heard from our other family members and my dad starts telling me more stories about from when he was younger. Then, after we’re all done cleaning up and when I get tired, I go up to my room and think about all the things we did with our family and all the things we talked about. Usually I get bored from listening to old stories but on Thanks Giving it’s different. It’s hard to explain why. But being with my family is the most important part of the holiday no matter what we do.

if i were a millionaire =)

If I were a millionaire I would use my money for a good cause. I would create a company or program to help people in need but I would first take care of my family. My mom has seven siblings 3 of which still live in the Philippines. My mom, 3 of her brothers, and one of her sisters left the Philippines many years ago and came to the states. But my 2 aunts and one uncle that still live there are not nearly as fortunate as we are. I would first take care of my aunts and uncle and their children and grandchildren. I would make sure they have all the things they need like good houses and money to send the young children to school and buy food.

After taking care of my family, I would create my company to help people in need-especially children. I was in Peru this past summer with my friends and we visited two orphanages. All the children there had no families. A little girl, who was probably about 4 years old, came up to me and started playing with my monkey key chain on my Kipling shoulder bag. I felt I had to give it to her. She let me carry her and she sat in my lap when we sang a song to the kids. After we left, I felt so sad for those children who had nothing. I will use my money to make sure children without parents or family will be well taken care of and will get to have a good family.

After using my money for a good cause, I would put money away to save for my future and other important things like my future family. When I grow up, I want to have kids of my own, but I want to adopt triplets. When we were at one of the orphanages in Peru, there was a set of triplets-girls. They were so close to each other and they were afraid that they would get adopted into different families. I’m going to keep the kids that I adopt with their siblings. I’m going to save up money for my kids to go to good schools from kindergarten all the way through college. Of course I will splurge my money every once-in-a-while for fun, but I’ll make sure that I use my money wisely.

if i could choose a place to die, it would be.....

If I could choose a place to die, it would be in my bed in my aunt and uncle's house in Chicago. My uncle has already passed away but being in his house makes me feel comfortable and I know that he will be watching over me when I die and my aunt is very good at taking care of people she loves.

I want to be sick with a disease that will not make me suffer but will let me pass away peacefully. I will ask my mom, my sister, and my aunt to light candles and scented incense and place them all around the room and around my bed with the lights off. I want my bed to have purple bed sheets and a purple blanket dressed in baby roses.

While I die I will ask my aunt to read me some of my favorite children stories while I listen peacefully. I will make sure not to cause my mom, my sister and aunt too much trouble while caring for me but I will have to ask them to make everything perfect around my death bed.

I will tell my family not arrange a huge funeral and not to invite every person I know, but only our family and closest family friends. I want to die a very peaceful death-as peaceful as I can make it.

I get buried, I want to be placed in a snow white coffin with soft dark blue cushioning inside, I want my arms to be placed over my stomach and my hands will be holding a picture of my family-my mom, my dad, my sister, and myself and I want to be wearing a light purple dress with a light purple lilly in my hair. I want to die a very peaceful death.

a certain event in life

As most of my friends and all of my family know, I have a slight mental problem. I have mild epilepsy. Every once in a while I start to blank out from my surroundings like a day dream and I have a minor seizure. I know when a seizure is about to come because I get a feeling that I can’t describe in words to other people. I’m the only one who can understand this strange feeling. Up until the summer before last, my family and I didn’t know what the cause of the seizures was so I was checked into a hospital in Chicago for 5 days and I stopped taking my medication to make sure a seizure would come to find out what the cause was and where it was coming from. I was put in a hospital bed with a hospital night gown and my neurologist, or brain doctor, taped 27 wires to my scalp which connected to a machine to detect which part of my brain was triggering the seizures. After a few days, I nothing happened so I had 10 more wires attached to my scalp. It was not very pleasant. I had to lie in the bed for 5 days only getting up to use the restroom. The only thing I could do was watch TV. Finally after a few days of waiting, a seizure came and that’s when my dad and I found out that there was a vein brain bleeding in my brain. I was lucky to get out of the hospital on the day that I did because it was the day before my 15th birthday. That is one experience of my life that I will not forget. But the worst part of this experience was finding out that my problem might not go away.

my top 3 favorite songs are........

My top three favorite songs of all time(well, so far at least) are High School Never Ends By: Bowling for Soup, Big Girls Don't Cry By: Fergie, and You Belong With Me By: Taylor Swift


High School Never Ends is meant to be a funny song about graduating from high school and all leaving behind all the things like the popular kids, the geeks, and the other "groups" of people to find out that the world outside high school is just the same. The band compares famous people and actors to high school students. The song compares the quarterback to Brad Pitt because, usually, the football teams' quarterbacks are hot, and Brad Pitt is known to be hot. Reese Witherspoon is called the prom queen, Bill Gates is the captain of the chess team, and Jack Black is the clown. The song also says that the world outside high school also has people with eating disorders, who dresses the best, who's rich, who goes clubbing, who's on drugs, etc just like the kids in high school.



Big Girls Don't Cry is about a woman who is in love with a man but can't be with him because she has to go out on her own to find out what to do with her life. I love the tune, the melody, and the meaning. She says that she had a lot of fun with her man, but she has to go away for herself and that that has nothing to do with him. She explains that she has to straighten out her life, but she will still love her lover. The chorus is the part I love the most about the song. In the parts in between the chorus, she explains how she spends time with her lover in the form of two children playing in a playground, and at when it starts to get dark she has to go home. It gives the song a little extra "touch."



You Belong With Me is about a girl who is in love with her neighbor, but he has a girlfriend already. She wonders why he sticks with his girlfriend because she sees him arguing on the phone with her all the time. She wonders why he can't realize that he should be with her but he doesn't know that she is in love with him. The boy's girlfriend is a cheerleader and she loves to dress fancy while this girl dresses in regular clothes and is just an average girl. The music video shows that eventually, the boy realizes that he doesn't belong with his girlfriend and that he is in love with his neighbor too.

if i could bring one person back to life....

If I could bring one person back to life, it would be my uncle, Arthur(Art) Wuest. He was one of the nices men I ever knew. He married my dad's older sister after she divorced her first husband with whome she had a son and a daughter. When she married my uncle Art, her children were very young and my uncle adopted them as his own.

My uncle was funny, smart, and outgoing. He was in his 70's and was always up to doing anything. If my uncle Art were still alive today I would want him to be here on Saipan making me laugh by telling me his funny jokes and stories, and going out for walks with me on the beach side.

We would go swimming in our swimming pool with my whole family and have nice family dinners with him talking and telling his old stories and jokes along with my dad. I miss seeing his funny smile. I also wish he were alive to be with my aunt who now lives all alone at the age of 80.

I can see in my mind him sitting on the beach chair beside the swimming pool with my aunt right next to him and me swimming in the pool beside them.

I usually don'l like hearing old stories, but if um uncle were alive, I would be listening to him and my dad telling old stories to each other and to everyone at the table. We wouuld go out to dinner and I would show him all my favorite things to eat. I would show him and my aunt how I play tennis, volleyball, and dance polynesian dances. I can picture him smiling at me from the sidelines, and when I would finish I would run up to him and listen to him tell while he tells my what he thought.

The things I miss most about him are his funny smile and his outgoingness. After he passed, I say a star up in the sky right above my house. I noticed it would appear every night right in the same spot. I knew from then on it was my uncle watching over me. I know he is gone, but really he is still here-in my heart.

My cousin's getting married!

My closest blood-related cousin is getting married! She has a one-year-old baby with the man she is going to marry and they waited this long. I've been wondering when it was going to happen. And just a few days ago i found out that they are going to get married at my house by the swimming pool and she wants me to be her maid of honor. =) I've never done that before. But she made me the first godmother of her baby, my nephew, EJ. And now i have 2 god-kids. My sister's best friend's first baby boy and Penny's first baby boy. So I guess it won't be that hard. It's going to be in just a few days! I still feel it's kind of wierd after her having EJ for a year and now being married, but I'm happy for her as long as she's happy for herself. Now I'm going to have a seconed experience at something that would normally be an adult's job!

wonders of saipan

The cool beautiful sites of Saipan attract tourist to the island from different countries but they mostly attract Japanese, Korean and Russian people. People come to Saipan to see the nice warm weather and to take tours of the island to see the famous sites such as Bonzai Cliff, the Grotto, Suicide Cliff, Mount Tapochao and memorials and statues from World War II.
Mainly tourists come to Saipan for their honeymoons or to bring their children to a nice place. They usually come here when it is winter time in their country to get away from the cold and feel the warmth of the sun that is almost always shining.
I look around and see people walking along beach road, shopping at Duty Free, and eating at the street market having a wonderful time. I see foreign children dancing at the street market and having a great time. The smiles I see while looking around makes me proud to be living on an island where people come from their own country to have fun.
To all the people around the word, I advise to come to the beautiful island of Saipan. The local cultures are very interesting to learn about and people who have been to Saipan before had a good time learning about cultures much different than their own. I especially see Japanese people drinking the juice from the local coconuts, and eating the local food. They might not find it good, but at least they are happy to have tried something new and can go back to their country to tell others about the things they have learned in Saipan and to be proud and happy that they had come to such a beautiful place.
I have lived on Saipan my whole life, and I must admit sometimes I wish I could just get away. But deep inside I know that I belong here until I go off to college and when I am gone, I can tell others about the place I used to live in and how beautiful it is.

this.i.believe

my favorite poem is.......

My favorite poem doesn't have a name but this is how it goes:

I believe in angels,The kind that heaven sends,I am surrounded by angels,But I call them friends.

By: Aizabel Parinas

I like this poem because it represents the feeling of having true friends, but for me, mostly family. My angels symoblize the people who watch over me all the time and care for me and will always back me up from behind. I love to have someone to depend on all the time like I would do for them. I think that having a true friend, which is my family, is the best feeling in the world. Know that there is and are people all around that care about me. Just like how angels are said to watch over people. I find this poem very meaningful. I can connect to it by thinking of my family and pictureing them in my mind as my angels watching over me.

my favorite book is.......

My favorite book is “Twilght,” the first book in the series called the “Twilight Saga.” I like this book so much that I’ve already read it 3 times. The reason why I like this book is because it is about something that doesn’t exist in real life. I love to read fiction books about magic and things like that and this book is about vampires who have powers out of the ordinary. The book starts out with an ordinary girl going to live with her dad who lives in a town called Forks in Washington State. Her parents are divorced and her mom is re-married so she decided to spend some time with her dad in Forks. She thought that she wouldn’t like it there because she hadn’t been there for years. But little did she know, her fait awaited her there. She falls in love with a vampire. I like this because there are no such things as vampires and the stories we hear about vampires are that they live in caves and only come out at night and can transform themselves from bats into humans who just kill people and suck their blood and turn them into vampires too. But the vampires in this story are totally different from what here about in old stories. They act and look just like humans except for drinking blood. The second main character only drinks animal blood and the good part is that he falls in love with a human even though he knows he shouldn’t. The best part is that the girl wants to become a vampire too. And…..her lover vampire is really hot.

me.myself.and.i

hey, my name is jessi soll. i just turned 16 years old and i live on and island called saipan in the pacific ocean in the northern mariana islands. i live with my mom and dad but i have 4 older siblings who are all grown ups and live with their families. i go to saipan international school and i have lots of wierd friends there. that's the reason why i go to school everyday. =) i like hanging out with my friends and family, listenting to music, dancing, and playing tennis and volleyball. school just started like 3 weeks ago and it's already a living hell! TONS of homework already! somtimes i think my head is gonna explode but somehow i find a way to have some time to relax. i guess it's not that bad. i've lived on saipan my whole life and i've been trying to get out of here for the longest time. but life's not that bad. i'm really gifted to have all the friends and family that i do. (=jEssi=)

this i believe

Ever since I was a little girl, I've always loved to be goofy, outgoing, sporty, silly, funny, and sometimes a little bit crazy. I love to laugh and make others laugh too. I grew up in a small community in which I am very close to my family and many of my closest friends, who are considered family too. I was brought up by a very open family to be kind and sharing and to look at the “inside” rather than the out. I'm never afraid to be who I am or show my inner self in front of my family, and I try not to hide my feelings. I believe not being afraid to show one’s inner self helps build one’s self confidence.

I'm not lady-like, gorgeous, or glamorous like the girls people see on television. I don't wear make-up, and I don't worry much about my looks-or mainly what people will think of them-because I know, inside, I am beautiful. I love to have fun with my friends and family whenever I can, I like to make people happy, and I love having fun being who I am on the inside without worrying about what I look like on the outside. I admire people who feel the same way. I enjoy showing my inner qualities with the people I love and that is the way I look at others. I believe it's not right to judge the personalities of others for the way they look. If a person has a kind heart, to me, they are beautiful. I see that people who show who they really are look very happy.

From when I was four years old, up until I graduated from eighth grade, I had a second family, at the school that I attended for 10 years. It's the smallest school on the island of Saipan (where I live) called Whispering Palms School. The people there were like family and I was never afraid to be who I was. My classmates were like my brothers and sisters, and my teachers were like my aunties and uncles. I showed my inner qualities around them and they, as well, accepted me for who I was. I hardly dressed fancy but I was still me.

Sometimes, while being my goofy, silly self, I see people outside my family who look at me like I might be crazy. I am aware of the things I do and what I look like while I do them and I don't worry when people judge me by that. My family accepts me for who I am and so do my closest friends. This makes me feel even better about being me.

Sometimes people make fun of me, or laugh at me for being silly and goofy, but regardless of what others think, I am who I am, and nobody, not even the closest people in the world to me, can ever change that-not even the closest people in the world to me. I've been and always will be a silly, goofy, funny, sporty person and sometimes I even dress funny or different from others around me and I'm not ashamed. I am happy with who and what I am-that is me. I love being the person that I am, and I won't let anybody get in the way or try to change me.

I believe the only person who can change me is me. If I'm happy with who I am, I'll just be “me”. I don't stress my feelings over the opinions of others on the way I dress or what I look like. The inner beauty is what matters most.